Unconsented sexual pressure or manipulation
In many relationships, sexual coercion can be a hidden danger. If it forms part of a pattern, such behavior is considered abuse. Hallmarks of consensual sex include mutual respect, equal power dynamics, autonomy, no sense of entitlement, physical and emotional safety, and no pressure or intimidation [1].
A 2018 study revealed that males are more likely to engage in coercive behavior. Certain attitudes, including a belief that sexually coercive behaviors are normal, a desire for power and control, and hostile sexism, increase the risk of such behavior [2]. It's essential to remember that these behaviors are about gaining power and control, not about love or concern.
Sexual coercion often occurs within a broader pattern of coercive control, where an abuser seeks to dominate their partner emotionally, physically, and sexually without consent. Signs of coercive control include excessive demands for digital communication and control over social media or phone access, monitoring a partner's whereabouts and social interactions closely, insisting on controlling a partner's appearance, clothing, and behaviors, isolating the partner from friends and family to prevent outside support, and using threats to harm the partner or their loved ones [3].
Individuals who have experienced sexual coercion can take several steps towards help and recovery. Recognizing common feelings of confusion, shame, guilt, or trauma reactions like anger and fear (sometimes symptoms of complex PTSD) as normal but not their fault is the first step [4]. Reaching out to trusted friends, family members, or professional support services such as counseling, advocacy groups, or hotlines specialized in abuse recovery is also crucial [5].
Healing is a process that often involves therapy focusing on trauma recovery, rebuilding independence, and addressing emotional and physical health. Safety planning and accessing legal resources may be necessary if the abuser uses threats or violence. Remember that recovery includes regaining control over one’s choices and support networks, breaking isolation imposed by the abuser, and rebuilding self-esteem [2][4].
Recognizing coercive and predatory behaviors early and seeking professional help are critical steps towards recovery from sexual coercion in relationships [1][3][5]. If a person has experienced something they believe to be sexual abuse, they should consider dialing 911 or their country's emergency number to report it to the police, visiting a hospital, rape center, or doctor's office for medical care, and seeking help from trusted friends or family [6].
Non-coercive sex involves affirmative consent, where all sexual partners explicitly and enthusiastically give their verbal consent to sexual activities [7]. Sexual coercion can occur in any kind of relationship and applies to any type of sex [8]. In sexual coercion, a person has sex because they feel they should or must, rather than because they want to.
People can find local resources and others classified by demographics, such as support specifically for People of Color, on The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence website [9]. In the United States, coercive sex may be considered sexual assault if the perpetrator initiates sex for the purposes of abusing, harassing, humiliating, or degrading the person [10].
Coercive sex is illegal if it involves someone below the age of 21 and their guardian, someone below the age of 16 and a person who is 4 or more years older than them, or anyone below the age of 10 [11]. The nature of sexual coercion can vary significantly, from persistently asking for sex until someone gives in to threats of violence or revenge [12].
Examples of sexual coercion include harassment, guilt, lies, threats to the relationship, blackmail, fear and intimidation, power imbalance, using substances, and coercion in the context of a pattern of behavior that a person uses to gain control or power over someone else [13]. If a person is unsure if they have experienced sexual coercion, assault, or abuse, they may wish to speak with a helpline, support worker, or lawyer specializing in this area, especially if the partner makes them feel unsafe, controls their daily life, they worry about what would happen if they tried to leave, or the partner has threatened or carried out violence toward a person, their children, or pets [14].
Domestic abuse can be fatal, and the safest thing a person can do in this situation is to stay safe and seek help [15]. Recovering from sexual coercion can involve confiding in an understanding, trustworthy friend, speaking with a free, confidential helpline, talking with a therapist who specializes in coercive sex or sexual assault recovery, joining an online or in-person support group, and learning more about affirmative consent [16].
[1] https://www.rainn.org/articles/consent [2] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6113841/ [3] https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/coercive-control/ [4] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6349915/ [5] https://www.rainn.org/articles/get-help [6] https://www.rainn.org/articles/get-help [7] https://www.rainn.org/articles/consent [8] https://www.rainn.org/articles/consent [9] https://www.ncadv.org/ [10] https://www.rainn.org/articles/sexual-assault [11] https://www.rainn.org/articles/sexual-assault [12] https://www.rainn.org/articles/sexual-assault [13] https://www.rainn.org/articles/sexual-assault [14] https://www.rainn.org/articles/get-help [15] https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/domestic-violence/ [16] https://www.rainn.org/articles/get-help
Individuals dealing with the emotional toll of sexual coercion might experience a range of reactions, such as confusion, shame, guilt, or trauma symptoms like anger and fear (sometimes indicative of complex PTSD). These feelings are normal but not their fault [4]. Seeking help from trusted friends, family members, or professional support services like counseling, advocacy groups, or hotlines specialized in abuse recovery is highly recommended [5].
Mental health is an integral part of overall health-and-wellness, and addressing depression, anxiety, or other emotional challenges may be necessary during the recovery process [16]. Similarly, those recovering from sexual coercion may face health issues related to their sexual health, such as increased risk of STIs like HIV, hepatitis, or genital herpes, due to forced or coerced sexual encounters [17]. It is essential to seek medical attention if concerns arise regarding these conditions.
Many mental and physical health conditions, including depression, arthritis (often a symptom of degenerative joint diseases), diabetes, colitis, Crohn's disease, psoriasis, and even certain neurological disorders like Sclerosis Multiplex or Macular Degeneration, can have psychological impacts on a person's life. If someone struggles with their mental health and also has a pre-existing health condition, such as HIV or hepatitis, they may benefit from a comprehensive approach to managing both their physical health and mental health [18].
Additionally, individuals engaging in high-risk sexual behavior should consider taking prevention measures like using PrEP (Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis) to reduce the risk of contracting HIV [19]. The misuse of substances, whether prescription or illicit, can also contribute to difficulties in maintaining good mental and physical health, and seeking help for substance misuse can be an essential part of the recovery process.
Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, autonomy, and the absence of abusive behaviors such as sexual coercion. Individuals living with multiple diseases, like diabetes, dry eye syndrome, or ulcerative colitis, can still cultivate healthy relationships based on open communication, trust, and understanding [20]. Engaging in healthy dialogues about one's mental health, as well as any other health challenges, can strengthen relationships and foster a sense of support.
Recovery from sexual coercion also encompasses learning to navigate the complexities of sexual health and mental health outside of abusive relationships. Seeking help from professionals, engaging in self-care practices, and rebuilding self-esteem are all crucial components of the healing journey for those who have experienced sexual coercion or abuse [21]. Lastly, ongoing research in the field of science, focusing on health-and-wellness topics like mental health, sexual health, and chronic disease management, can provide valuable insights into ways we can better support the recovery process for those impacted by sexual coercion.
