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Struggling with Relationship-Related Depression: Is It Wise to Leave Behind What Once Was?

If your significant other is causing you emotional distress, prioritize your mental wellbeing by taking necessary actions.

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4 min read
If your romantic partnership is causing you distress and depression, prioritize your mental health...
If your romantic partnership is causing you distress and depression, prioritize your mental health by taking necessary actions.

Heads Up: As Tough as Love Can Be, It Shouldn't Make You Blue

Fell head-over-heels in love, but feel the weight of sadness? If your relationship is dragging you down, don't ignore it – take charge of your mental health. Trust me, I've been there! At 18, I tumbled headfirst into my first serious love affair, only to realize later that it was toxic as hell.

I was mistakenly captivated, failing to recognize that my mental well-being was under threat. Caught up in the whirlwind of emotions, I found myself in a constant state of despair, feeling lonely, insecure, and losing myself along the way. This relationship exposed me to verbal and emotional abuse – a situation I wish I had bolted from sooner.

My love life didn't end there; it seeped into my academic pursuits and relationships with loved ones. I'd often find myself sobbing after university classes, struggling to keep my head above water.

Deep down, I understood that my relationship was wreaking havoc on my life, but the fear of letting go swallowed me whole. In denial, I clung to the hope that things could change – a folly we've all fallen for at some point. You don't have to wait years to make a break for it like I did. [Read: 10 warning signs in a relationship that spell trouble]

How to Tell if Your Relationship Is Tearing You Apart

Not all relationships are peaches and cream. Here are the signs that your relationship might be pushing you into the depths of despair.

1. The Blues Began with the Relationship

Chances are, you started off on Cloud Nine, but the buzz fizzled out quicker than a burned-out light bulb. If you're in a subpar relationship, it's likely you'll feel overwhelmed with sadness. [Read: Qualities that keep a relationship strong]

2. You Feel Pumped When Your Partner's Gone

When your partner heads to work or takes off with a friend, you feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. If your mental batteries recharge when they're out of sight, that could be a red flag.

3. Your Health's Slipping Away

Your body is a well-oiled machine, and all parts depend on one another to function properly. When your mental health isn't up to snuff, it impacts your physical health, too. From headaches to insomnia, there are endless ways your body could give you a distress signal. [Read: ** Warning signs of toxic people in your life**]

4. You Feel Stuck

You think about leaving, but the fear of the unknown keeps you right where you are. You feel trapped, like there's no way out.

5. Self-Esteem Tumbled Down the Drain

You used to chase after confidence like it was the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but your partner chipped away at it relentlessly, leaving you with a pile of self-loathing.

6. In denial, You're Blocking the Truth

I can't sugarcoat this: sometimes our partners are the culprits behind our misery. But you're in the thick of it right now, and it's on you to get out. Don't make excuses for your partner. Look at the issues you're facing, and ask yourself if they stem from the relationship.

7. You Feel out of Control

A relationship should provide comfort and stability, not make you feel like a puppet on a string. If you don't feel like you're steering the ship, it's time for a change. [Read: Ways to find balance in your relationship]

8. The Power Imbalance Favors Your Partner

A relationship is about give-and-take, but if you're pulling all the weight, it'll wear you down.

9. Your Happiness Hinges on Your Partner's Approval

You come alive when your partner's happy, and there's nothing worse than seeing that smile fade. The truth hurts, but if you're unworthy of happiness when they're not, something's wrong.

10. You neeeed the Widows' Walk

Can't stomach spending time with your partner? You'll channel your inner Captain Ahab if you keep it up. Start communicating your needs – or find someone who'll listen.

11. Ditching the Things You Love

You used to swim in a sea of passion, but now you're content to wallow in the mutual misery of your relationship. Distance yourself from your old life and find new hobbies to reclaim the parts of yourself your partner stole. [Read: ** Signs of a bad relationship that could be ruining your life**]

12. You Fear Your Partner

You've got reasons to be afraid, but silence is not your best friend here. Talk to your partner and seek a way out if you feel trapped and unsafe. [Read: 10 early signs of an abusive relationship]

Bottom Line:If your relationship is making you miserable, don't ignore it – take the reins and make a change. Whether you stay or leave, prioritize your mental health before anything else. And remember, there's no shame in seeking professional help when you need it.

  1. The initial euphoria of your relationship has been replaced by a persistent feeling of sadness, indicating a potential strain on your mental health.
  2. If you feel a sense of relief when your partner is away, it could be a sign of an unhealthy relationship that may be negatively impacting your mental well-being.
  3. Recurring physical health issues, such as headaches or insomnia, might be an indirect consequence of poor mental health, which could be caused by an unfulfilling relationship.
  4. If you feel trapped in the relationship and are unable to envision a way out, it may indicate a larger issue that is affecting both your physical and mental health.
  5. A considerable drop in self-esteem and increased self-loathing could be a red flag, suggesting that the relationship dynamics are harmful to your overall well-being.
  6. If you find yourself making excuses for your partner, it's essential to confront the truth and analyze whether the issues stem from the relationship itself.
  7. If you don't feel in control of your relationship, it signifies an imbalance in power, which can contribute to feelings of helplessness and negatively impact your mental and emotional state.
  8. If your happiness is contingent on your partner's approval, it indicates a codependent relationship that may be detrimental to your mental health.
  9. If you're unable to enjoy your hobbies and passions due to your relationship, it could be a sign that the relationship is consuming essential parts of your identity, negatively impacting your mental health.
  10. If you fear your partner, it is crucial to communicate openly, seek support, and take action if you feel threatened in the relationship, as this can have far-reaching consequences on your mental health.

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