Sex therapy with professional surrogates: A comprehensive guide
Sex surrogate therapy is an alternative approach to traditional sex therapy, offering a three-way therapeutic relationship between a licensed therapist, a client, and a surrogate partner. This unique form of therapy aims to help individuals overcome sexual dysfunctions and intimacy issues by providing a safe space for experiential learning and desensitization to anxiety around physical intimacy.
Origins and Evolution
Traditional sex therapy originated from clinical psychology and psychotherapy traditions, with roots tracing back to psychoanalytic theories pioneered by figures like Sigmund Freud. Over time, it evolved into a specialized talk therapy addressing sexual function, desire, intimacy, and relational issues, with certified sex therapists trained in clinical sexology and trauma-informed care.
Sex surrogate therapy, on the other hand, developed later as an adjunct to traditional therapy, emerging in the mid-20th century. It aimed to offer experiential learning and desensitization to anxiety around physical intimacy, which is not covered by talk therapy alone. The concept was introduced by Dr. William Masters and Dr. Virginia Johnson in their book, Human Sexual Inadequacy, originally published in the 1970s.
The Process
Traditional sex therapy is primarily talk-based. It involves assessment, goal-setting, educational interventions, communication training, exploration of emotional and psychological barriers, and techniques like sensate focus exercises to rebuild intimacy without direct physical involvement from the therapist.
Sex surrogate therapy, however, combines psychotherapy with experiential bodywork and intimate interactions involving a surrogate partner who works closely with the therapist and client. It integrates elements of psychosexual somatics, neuroscience, and trauma therapy to support somatic release and healing through actual tactile and sexual experiences, helping clients overcome barriers to intimacy physically and emotionally.
The Benefits
Traditional sex therapy helps clients and couples to improve communication regarding desires and boundaries, address sexual dysfunctions, heal sexual trauma psychologically, rediscover emotional intimacy, and build trust. It also helps manage anxiety and improve overall sexual satisfaction in a safe, non-physical setting.
Sex surrogate therapy provides benefits including direct experiential learning through physical intimacy, addressing somatic and psychological trauma jointly, supporting integration of brain, body, and emotional aspects of sexuality, and overcoming physical and emotional blocks with supervised practice. Often, progress in clients with severe intimacy anxieties or dysfunctions can be faster due to the real-world application of the therapy.
Key Differences
| Aspect | Traditional Sex Therapy | Sex Surrogate Therapy | |-------------------------|-----------------------------------------------------|----------------------------------------------| | Modality | Talk therapy, education, communication focus | Combines talk therapy with physical intimacy | | Therapist involvement | Certified sex therapist | Therapist collaborates with surrogate partner| | Physical contact | No physical intimacy with therapist or others | Includes guided physical and sexual interaction| | Goal | Emotional/psychological healing, improved communication, sexual education | Practical skill-building, trauma release, and experiential healing| | Typical clients | Individuals or couples seeking psychological support | Individuals with severe sexual dysfunctions or intimacy avoidance needing experiential work|
In summary, traditional sex therapy focuses on psychological, emotional, and relational aspects through talk and exercises, while sex surrogate therapy incorporates experiential, physical practice via a surrogate partner to directly address intimacy and sexual function challenges. Both have distinct roles and can complement each other depending on the client's needs.
Accessing Sex Surrogate Therapy
Interested individuals may access a partner surrogate through a licensed therapist or IPSA's list of surrogate partners or referrals coordinator. The course of therapy usually begins with the therapist and the client determining goals and creating a treatment plan to address the issues behind the client's difficulties.
Sex surrogate therapy may help treat sexual difficulties among transgender people who have recently undergone gender confirmation surgery and may be beneficial for people with disabilities to help them learn about comfortable ways to experience sex. However, more research is necessary, and it may be advisable to establish clarity on the ethics and legality of this practice.
As with any form of therapy, it's crucial to find a qualified and reputable professional to ensure a safe and effective experience. Sex workers receive payment in exchange for consensual sexual services, while sex surrogate therapy aims to provide a safe, structured environment for clients to explore intimacy and resolve barriers. Surrogates guide clients through the program and gradually progress through varied therapeutic experiences that aim to explore, build the client's skills, and promote their healing. Sex surrogate therapy may involve a sex therapist as a licensed professional in addition to a certified surrogate partner.
- Sex surrogate therapy, being a type of predictive approach, aims to offer mental-health therapies-and-treatments for individuals with severe sexual dysfunctions or intimacy avoidance, where talk therapy alone may not suffice.
- The evolution of health-and-wellness practices has incorporated the use of sex surrogate therapy, especially in the contextual understanding of sexual function, desire, and intimacy.
- In the arena of science, sex surrogate therapy helps address mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and trauma, in addition to physical conditions like obesity, diabetes, and even Alzheimer's.
- Sex surrogate therapy involves a three-way therapeutic relationship, but it differs from traditional sex therapy in its modality, as it combines talk therapy with physical intimacy and bodywork.
- The therapy benefits individuals, providing direct experiential learning through physical intimacy, addressing somatic and psychological trauma jointly, and overcoming physical and emotional blocks with supervised practice.
- It's important to note that, while sex workers receive payment for consensual sexual services, sex surrogate therapy aims to provide a safe, structured environment for clients to explore intimacy and resolve barriers, with the therapist and surrogate functioning as part of a licensed team.
- Sex surrogate therapy may be beneficial in specific contexts such as helping transgender individuals or people with disabilities learn comfortable ways to experience sex, but more research is necessary to establish its ethics and legality.
- To access sex surrogate therapy, one can either consult a licensed therapist or refer to IPSA's list of surrogate partners or their referrals coordinator, starting with goal-setting and creating a treatment plan tailored to the client's unique needs.
