Research Suggests a Connection Between Narcissism and Experiencing Social Exclusion
## Common Reactions of Narcissists to Feeling Excluded
Recent research has shed light on the distinct behaviours and emotional responses exhibited by individuals with high levels of narcissism when they perceive themselves as excluded, whether the exclusion is real or perceived[5].
### Heightened Victim Mentality and Aggression
Individuals with narcissistic traits often perceive exclusion as a personal affront, developing a strong sense of being wronged or victimized[5]. In response, they may lash out with overt aggression or engage in passive-aggressive behaviours, such as subtly undermining others, making sarcastic or backhanded remarks, or gossiping to damage reputations[1]. Some may even withdraw entirely, convinced they are misunderstood or unappreciated.
### Passive-Aggressive and Indirect Tactics
Narcissists may retaliate by reciprocally excluding others—avoiding eye contact, ignoring messages, or cutting people off from their social media or social circles[1]. They may use humour or sarcasm to disguise criticism, send indirect messages that blame others, or minimize their own role in conflicts[1]. In work environments, narcissistic individuals might leave tasks unfinished or incomplete, creating problems for colleagues as a form of indirect retaliation[1].
### Emotional Toll on Others
The behaviours exhibited by narcissistic individuals can have a significant impact on both personal relationships and workplace dynamics. Narcissistic leadership, in particular, has been linked to increased workplace bullying, emotional exhaustion, and depression among subordinates[2][3]. Interactions with narcissistic leaders can drain emotional and psychological resources, leading to burnout, decreased creativity, and higher turnover intentions in employees[3].
## Summary Table: Common Reactions
| Reaction Type | Manifestation | Consequences for Others | |------------------------------|-----------------------------------------------------|--------------------------------------| | Victim mentality | Feeling targeted, aggrieved | Tension, emotional exhaustion | | Aggression/passive-aggression| Lashing out, sarcasm, gossip, sabotage | Anxiety, depression, low self-worth | | Social withdrawal | Withdrawing or cutting others off | Perceived ostracism, isolation |
## Key Insights
Perceived exclusion is a potent trigger for individuals with narcissistic tendencies, often leading to a range of maladaptive behaviours—from overt aggression to subtle manipulation—that can negatively impact both personal relationships and workplace dynamics[1][5]. Recent studies suggest that these reactions are not merely about arrogance or self-importance, but also about a deep-seated hypersensitivity to social slights and a propensity to retaliate when feeling devalued[5].
A person with persistent feelings of being slighted may be difficult to work with or engage in conversation. A study found that people who show signs of narcissism often feel excluded more than others, in various settings like work, friendships, or group settings[5]. Awareness of narcissistic traits can help in spotting patterns before they worsen. Over time, the thinking patterns of narcissistic people can cause damage, not just socially but emotionally as well.
Narcissism, in its more serious forms, is linked to other struggles such as anxiety and depression. Narcissistic people's reactions to rejection can lead to a cycle of pushing people away through controlling, competitive, and cold behaviour, resulting in more rejection. The more narcissistic traits a person exhibits, the lonelier their world may feel. Continuous reactions to feelings of being wronged can add to stress levels.
In the realm of health-and-wellness, understanding mental health is crucial when dealing with individuals exhibiting narcissistic traits. These individuals, when feeling excluded, might seek refuge in science-backed mental health practices to manage the subsequent stress and anxiety caused by perceived or actual exclusion [5]. To ensure a holistic approach to their health, it's essential for these individuals to recognize and address their mental health needs, particularly their heightened sensitivity to social slights and propensity to retaliate when feeling devalued [5]. This could help them break negative patterns, overcome emotional challenges, and foster healthier relationships with others, ultimately contributing to their overall health-and-wellness.
