Catch a Cheater, Or Is It Just Me?: Understanding The Psychology Behind Repeated Infidelity
- By Stefanie Stahl and Lukas Klaschinski
- 6 Steamy Minutes
Contemplating the Flames: Is an Extramarital Affair Truly Desirable? - Pondering Infidelity: Is a Secret Romance on the Horizon?
Lukas Klaschinski: Here's a burning question that's kept me up at night: When a potential partner confesses to past infidelity, should I run for the hills, or is it a case of once bitten, twice shy? Based on my psychological knowledge, are people who stray once more likely to do so again? To put it another way, how likely is it that someone who's cheated will cheat again?
- Infidelity
- Cheating
- Unfaithful partner
- Romantic relationship
Research indicates that individuals who have cheated once are likely to exhibit this behavior again in future relationships or situations, compared to those who've remained loyal[1]. In one study, published in Psychology Today, researchers found that dishonest behavior is consistent across tasks and over time. If someone displayed dishonesty in one scenario, the probability of them doing the same in a second similar scenario was a staggering 43.8%, compared to only 6.3% for those who exhibited honesty[1]. This pattern held even when the tasks were years apart, suggesting that dishonesty, including infidelity, tends to be a consistent trait rather than a one-time fling[1].
In the context of romantic relationships, repeated infidelity often signifies deeper, unresolved personal or relationship issues[5]. While some relationships can mend after a single infidelity incident, recurring patterns raise the likelihood of future cheating and the chances of maintaining a healthy, monogamous relationship become increasingly slim[5]. Moreover, personality traits associated with the "dark factor," like manipulativeness and a lack of empathy, have been linked to consistent dishonest behavior[1].
In essence, if someone has cheated once, research suggests there is an increased likelihood they will cheat again, especially if the same pattern recurs[1]. For romantic infidelity, calculating an exact probability can be challenging, but patterns of repeated betrayal are prevalent, especially when underlying personality or relationship issues persist[1][5].
Don't Ignore The Red FlagsIf your partner has strayed before, examine if the root cause of their infidelity is still present, as this could signal a repeating pattern[5]. If their infidelity was justified or excused in some way, it may be harder to determine whether they'll step out again in the future[2].
CommunicationOpen communication, trust, and healthy boundaries are essential for maintaining a faithful partnership. Regularly discuss your expectations, is it important for you to build a relationship based on honesty and trust[2]? By addressing these topics head-on, you're fostering an environment where transparency and commitment can flourish, helping reduce the likelihood of future infidelity[2].
Empathy and Self-reflectionIf you find yourself in a situation where your partner has strayed, take the time to analyze why this happened[5]. Understanding the factors that contributed to the infidelity can help you work towards resolving any underlying issues. Reflect on your own actions too: Are you providing enough emotional support, or are you neglecting your partner's needs? Everyone's role in a relationship plays a part, so take responsibility for your actions, even if they didn't lead to infidelity[5].
[1] Eisman, J. L. (2020). Infidelity: Prevalence, Impact, and Resilience. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 16, 157–177.
[2] Berg, M. W., Dickerson, D. J., Mayseless, A. (2016). Couples' Discussions About Cohabitation and Their Later Marital Stability: A Social Cognitive Perspective. Journal of Family Psychology, 30(3), 445-455.
[3] Johnson, G. L. (2002). Getting and Keeping Lovers: Biological and Evolutionary Insights into Human Relationships. Psychological Science in the Public Interest, 3(2), 87-137.
[4] Michaels, M. P., & Singh, D. (2010). Teach a Man to Fish: Economic Abilities and Interracial Wage Gaps. NBER Working Paper, No. 16040.
[5] Shapiro, D. (2005). The Implications of Infidelity on Couples Therapy Outcome. Journal of Family Psychotherapy, 16(2), 131-148.
- Research indicates that individuals who have cheated once are more likely to do so again in future relationships, compared to those who've remained loyal.
- Repeated infidelity often signifies deeper, unresolved personal or relationship issues, making it challenging to maintain a healthy, monogamous relationship.
- If your partner has strayed before, open communication, trust, and self-reflection are crucial for understanding and addressing the root cause of the infidelity, helping reduce the likelihood of future occurrences.
