Mourning the Death of a Mother: Strategies for Daughters to Manage Grief
Losing a mother can be a traumatic experience, with lasting effects on daily life. Grief from such a loss can occur in stages and have immediate symptoms, such as regret, remorse, anxiety, guilt, emptiness, rage, anger, sadness, and numbness. These normal emotions, as listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.), are part of the grieving process.
A 2021 study found that parental loss is linked with depression and a compromised sense of self in young adults. Another study suggests that women, in particular, may experience a more intense grief response and struggle more with adjusting to the loss of a parent. Daughters may experience grief differently than sons, and seeking support from maternal figures, whether blood relations or not, can help retain feelings of guidance and understanding.
Grief is also linked to increased chances of cancer, cardiac issues, immune disorders, and high blood pressure. If immediate help is needed due to overwhelming grief leading to self-harm or suicidal thoughts, resources such as the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, Crisis Text Line, and Befrienders Worldwide are available.
Focusing on happy reminders such as pictures, books, or keepsakes can provide comfort during the grieving process. Maintaining traditions from your mother, or starting your own, can help ease the burden of loss. Honoring a mother's memory can take various forms, such as donating to her favourite charity or achieving personal goals she aspired for.
Local support groups, online chat forums, and mental health professionals can provide assistance throughout the grieving process. The American Psychological Association's Psychologist Locator can help find a professional specialized in grief recovery. Books like "Healing After the Loss of Your Mother: A Grief & Comfort Manual" by Elaine Mallon, "Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss", and "How to Survive the Loss of a Parent: A Guide for Adults" may provide help during the grieving process.
Grief that impairs daily functioning or persists for longer than a year may require the support of a mental health professional. If extreme grief persists for more than a year or interferes with daily tasks, it may be beneficial to speak with a mental health professional.
Losing your mother can lead to feelings of losing an important part of your support system, regret for lost family traditions and cultural knowledge, and strained relationships with family members. However, seeking support and taking care of oneself during this difficult time can help in the healing process.
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