Infant Separation Anxiety: Causes, Symptoms, and Strategies for Support
Separation anxiety is a common experience for many babies and toddlers, characterized by distress when a caregiver leaves or is out of sight. This article provides an overview of the causes, signs, and management strategies for separation anxiety in infants and toddlers.
Causes and Developmental Context
Separation anxiety typically begins around 6 to 10 months of age, when babies start to understand the concept of object permanence—the realization that people or objects continue to exist even when they cannot be seen. It usually peaks between 6 months and 3 years, and sometimes lasts until around 3 to 4 years old. This anxiety arises because the child fears that their primary caregiver might leave and not return, which is a normal developmental stage linked to growing awareness and attachment.
Common Signs of Separation Anxiety
Signs of separation anxiety can include crying when a parent leaves the room, clinging to the caregiver or distress in unfamiliar environments, fear or discomfort around new people, difficulty settling for naps or bedtime, wanting a parent present to fall asleep or to be cuddled to sleep, increased night waking or difficulty resettling overnight, nightmares related to separation in toddlers over 2 years old, and more.
Managing Separation Anxiety During the Day
Managing separation anxiety during the day can be achieved through several strategies. Gradually increasing the child's comfort with brief separations by practice separation trial-runs during the day can help them get used to being with other trusted adults separately from the caregiver. Encouraging self-soothing skills by allowing the child short periods to calm themselves when distressed, rather than immediately intervening in distress, can also be beneficial. Maintaining consistent routines and providing reassuring comfort items—like a stuffed animal or comforter—that are safe to use can further help to manage separation anxiety.
Nighttime Separation Strategies and Sleep Management
For nighttime separations, maintaining a consistent bedtime routine helps babies and toddlers feel secure and reduces anxiety. Avoiding extending bedtime routines excessively can prevent creating dependency and prolonging separation anxiety. Using a baby monitor with talkback to soothe your child from outside their room by voice alone if separation anxiety causes night waking can be a useful tool. Introducing a comfort object (blanket or cuddly) that smells like the parent by sleeping with it before giving it to the child can also help.
When children wake at night, soothing them physically (touch or gentle reassurance) without fully settling them back to sleep can encourage self-settling. Avoiding co-sleeping, as it may reinforce dependency, is also recommended. If the child cries out at night, trying soothing them from a gradually increasing distance over time to promote independence can be beneficial. Providing a calm environment during night comforts—low light, quiet, and no removal from the bed—can further help to soothe the child.
Additional Notes
Separation anxiety can contribute to sleep regressions, a temporary phase where sleep patterns worsen but typically improve with consistent routine and appropriate handling. Awareness of these stages and strategies aids caregivers in supporting children through this normal albeit challenging developmental phase.
It is important to note that separation anxiety can also persist into later childhood, known as childhood separation anxiety disorder (CSAD), a mental health condition that causes a level of separation anxiety that is unusual for the child's stage of development.
Caregivers can also develop separation anxiety, and it can be helpful to speak with a counselor or psychotherapist to understand their feelings and work through them. Introducing new caregivers gradually to babies and toddlers can help them get used to new people, such as other relatives or daycare workers. When leaving an infant with someone else, caregivers should explain that they are going away for a little while but that they will come back, and provide a timeframe when possible.
If concerns about a child's separation anxiety arise, it is recommended to seek support from a doctor or pediatrician. Introducing factors that can trigger or exacerbate separation anxiety, such as the arrival of a new sibling, a new or unfamiliar childcare setting, a new caregiver, moving home, the loss of a parent or caregiver, extended absences from a caregiver, the stress of a caregiver, feeling tired, hungry, or unwell, and parenting styles that discourage autonomy, should be handled with care. Keeping goodbyes brief and upbeat, and creating a goodbye ritual if it helps, can also be beneficial.
- At around 6 to 10 months, babies grasp the notion of object permanence, which can lead to the onset of separation anxiety.
- Separation anxiety peaks between 6 months and 3 years and can sometimes persist until ages 3 to 4.
- This anxiety stems from the child's fear that their caregiver might leave and not return.
- Cryng when a parent leaves the room, clinging to the caregiver, and distress in unfamiliar environments are common signs of separation anxiety in babies and toddlers.
- Increased night waking or difficulty resettling overnight, and nightmares related to separation in toddlers over 2 years old are also indicators.
- Gradual exposure to brief separations through practice trial-runs may help children get used to being with other trusted adults.
- Encouraging self-soothing skills can be beneficial in managing separation anxiety.
- Maintaining consistent routines, offering reassuring comfort items, and avoiding co-sleeping can aid in the management of separation anxiety.
- For nighttime separations, a consistent bedtime routine reduces anxiety and prevents dependency.
- Using a baby monitor with talkback to soothe a child from outside their room can be a useful tool during nighttime separations.
- Awareness of sleep regression stages helps caregivers support children through temporary worsening of sleep patterns.
- Prolonged separation anxiety in later childhood can be a mental health condition known as childhood separation anxiety disorder (CSAD).
- Caregivers themselves may experience separation anxiety and can seek help from a counselor or psychotherapist.
- Gradual introductions of new caregivers and specific goodbye rituals can help babies and toddlers adjust to new people and situations, ensuring family health, mental health, health-and-wellness, and optimal parenting.
