Dealing with a Terminally Sick Loved One: Strategies for Managing Grief and Emotions
In the face of a terminal illness, anticipatory grief can arise when one knows someone they care about is seriously ill. This emotional experience, similar to grieving, can manifest in feelings of sorrow, anxiety, anger, acceptance, depression, and denial.
Hospice programs, while varying in specifics, generally share common characteristics. These include a multidisciplinary team, a range of services, and licensing, certification, and accreditation. Investigating hospice programs well in advance is wise, as there may be waiting lists for some facilities. Hospice workers and hospital social workers can provide valuable support for individuals and their loved ones as they grapple with the issues surrounding death.
Talking about death can be difficult, but it's crucial to open the door to this conversation. Approach such discussions with honesty, kindness, and respect for the person's pace and wishes. Begin by expressing your intention clearly and gently, inviting them to share their thoughts whenever they feel comfortable. Use open-ended questions to explore their values, fears, and preferences, focusing not just on medical decisions but also on what quality of life and meaning mean to them.
Starting these discussions early, while the person is still capable, helps prepare clear advance directives and reduce potential family conflicts later. Using structured tools such as Advance Directives, Living Wills, POLST forms, or The Five Wishes document can guide the conversation and clarify specific treatment choices and spiritual or personal preferences.
Maintaining open communication among family members and involving healthcare or legal professionals ensures everyone understands and respects the patient’s wishes. It is important to regularly revisit and update these plans to reflect any changes in the patient’s condition or feelings.
Talking about death is not emotionally harmful and can actually support mental well-being, helping address emotional and spiritual needs often overlooked in care. Encouraging these discussions proactively helps ensure that the loved one’s preferences are honoured, reduces anxiety, and improves the quality of end-of-life care.
End-of-life care and funeral plans need to be considered when a terminal illness is diagnosed. Making time to say goodbye is important during a terminal illness, as it offers an opportunity to express love and make amends. Hospice care offers symptom relief, pain control, and a great deal of support during the end-of-life stage. It may take place at home, nursing home, assisted living center, or hospice residence.
Hospice care is covered under Medicare and in at least 45 states and the District of Columbia under Medicaid for anyone who has a prognosis of six months or less to live. A doctor's reassurance about symptoms and pain management can be beneficial. When considering hospice programs, it's essential to ask about services offered, insurance or Medicare/Medicaid coverage, and out-of-pocket expenses.
Legal and financial matters must be addressed during this time or in the days after the death. Longer, empathetic end-of-life conferences with medical staff can ease stress, anxiety, and depression in family members of the terminally ill.
A special health report, titled "Coping with Grief and Loss: A guide to preparing for and mourning the death of a loved one," published by Harvard Health Publishing, offers further guidance on coping with grief and loss. By approaching end-of-life decisions and plans with kindness, open communication, and respect, we can ensure a compassionate end-of-life experience for the terminally ill and their family.
Specific support groups focused on mental health and health-and-wellness can provide emotional support during the end-of-life journey, helping both individuals and their loved ones cope with anticipatory grief. (Emotional support, mental-health)
Incorporating science-backed methods, such as structured tools for advance directives and open-ended questions for discussions, can improve the mental health outcomes of the terminally ill and their family members. (Science, health-and-wellness, mental-health)
