Dealing with a Mom's Demise: Strategies for Daughters to Cope Effectively
In the wake of losing a mother, it's natural to feel a profound sense of grief. This article aims to provide insights and resources to help you navigate through this challenging time.
Firstly, it's essential to understand that extreme grief, if it persists for more than a year or interferes with daily tasks, may require the support of a mental health professional. The American Psychological Association's Psychologist Locator can assist in finding a grief recovery specialist.
Local support groups and online chat forums can also offer comfort and understanding during this difficult period. Books such as "Healing After the Loss of Your Mother: A Grief & Comfort Manual" by Elaine Mallon, "Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss" by Hope Edelman, and "How to Survive the Loss of a Parent: A Guide for Adults" by Lois F. Akner with Catherine Whitney may provide helpful guidance.
Grief can take a toll on relationships within your family. Siblings and other parental figures may need their own time to grieve or may not be emotionally available in the same way your mother once was. It's important to be patient and understanding during this time.
Maternal support can come from figures other than a blood relative. Honoring a mother's memory can take various forms, such as donating to her favourite charity or pursuing a personal goal she always wanted.
Remembering happy reminders, like pictures, books, or keepsakes, can provide comfort during the grieving process. Keeping up with traditions from your mother, such as cooking her favourite recipes or using the same fragrances in your home, may help ease the burden of loss. Starting your own traditions can provide comfort and ensure your children carry on both yours and your mother's traditions.
It's important to note that the grieving process can be different for daughters than for sons. Studies suggest that the death of a mother can have more negative effects on daughters than on sons. Women who experience the loss of a mother are more likely than men to binge drink, have a greater decline in self-esteem, and have a lower level of personal mastery (personal growth).
Grief can lead to a variety of psychological consequences, including prolonged intense sadness, depression, anxiety, feelings of guilt and self-criticism, disturbances in sleep and appetite, difficulties concentrating, and a general reduction in quality of life. These effects can deeply impair daily functioning and may coexist with traumatic stress, especially if the loss was sudden or related to severe conditions.
If the grief becomes unbearable and thoughts of self-harm or suicide arise, immediate help is available. Call or text the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988, text HOME to the Crisis Text Line at 741741, or find a helpline in your country with Befrienders Worldwide.
Offering support to others who have experienced parental loss can provide a sense of purpose during the grieving process. By sharing your experiences and offering comfort, you can help others who are going through a similar journey.
Lastly, it's crucial to remember that everyone's grieving process is unique. Be kind to yourself, seek support when you need it, and remember that it's okay to take your time to heal.
In the words of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, "The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not 'get over' the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal; you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again, but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to."
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