Collision of Parental Realms or Divergent Domains of the Parents
In the Warendorf district, eight-year-old Paul is navigating the complexities of life after his parents' separation. A social pedagogue and mediator, Bernd Konzcalla-Möller, is consulted to help Paul and his parents make transitions easier and discuss planning a joint communion celebration.
The Caritas Association in the Warendorf Deanery offers a group called "Children in Focus" (KIB) for parents after separation. This program aims to improve communication and joint parental responsibility by focusing on constructive and child-centered dialogue, fostering mutual respect, and engaging in collaborative decision-making processes that prioritize the child's well-being.
Paul lives with his father most of the time, and his mother is often late. The boy doesn't talk about his feelings because he knows it's best to stay silent. His parents have not spoken to each other for over a year, and the hope of them reconciling is unlikely. However, they are trying to avoid hostile encounters and negative talk about each other, recognising the impact it may have on Paul.
The boy's father wants to go to football with friends but can't leave the eight-year-old alone. This is where the KIB program comes in, providing strategies to manage such challenges. The program suggests establishing regular, structured communication channels between parents to discuss the child's needs and schedules, participating in mediation or parenting counseling, sharing and respecting each other's roles and responsibilities, and keeping the child's interests central to all communications.
Rahel Krückels, the head of the counseling center in Warendorf, states that parents often remain connected because of the children. Paul has visited a support group for children of divorced parents twice, and the "Children in Focus" group allows each parent to participate at the same time, focusing on negotiating parent-teacher conferences, family celebrations, and the handover of children.
The Caritas Association also provides support for children of divorced parents, recognising the unique challenges they face. By implementing programs like KIB, Caritas aims to reduce conflict and promote cooperative parenting despite separation, enhancing the child's security and emotional health.
